Amazon recommends…

Hi Bert, this is the Amazon Recommendation Selection Engine or A.R.S.E. Today we would like to recommend :

  1. Things you have already bought from us because you can never be too careful or have too much stuff.
  2. Things that are almost identical to things you have already bought from us because, God knows, once you bought a second one of the thing you already bought a third slightly different one will be hard to resist.
  3. Things you have already bought as gifts for other people and that were obviously gifts because they were completely outside of your known buying patterns.
  4. Things that are almost identical to things you already bought as gifts for other people just in case they need two of everything too.
  5. Things that you looked at accidentally or only because someone sent you a link entitled “LOL! Look at this ridiculous, furry, raccoon-head ski helmet“.
  6. Things that are similar to ridiculous, furry, raccoon-head ski helmets but probably a lot less LOL.
  7. 1 item that is completely inexplicable.

Basically I think that the A.R.S.E is an algorithm modelled on the Junk Lady from the film Labyrinth.

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